Getting flewed out has been a topic among my girls and I for quite some time. Some of my friends have been flewed out, while others have punk’d out on being flewed out-believing she would be sold as a worker to the lowest bidder. We all enjoy the thought of being flewed out but also want to make sure we stay safe. So we discuss tips of getting flewed out.

Marsha, our melanin beach babe, gives us the tea in how to get flewed out and the rules. She met a man while exploring Haiti around the beginning of last year; they exchanged social medias and they talked casually on social media. He asked her a few times to let him fly her out but timing and schedules conflicted. She also was cautious because she still didn’t know him. Finally, after more conversations, she obliged to his request to fly her out to Jamaica in December. He bought her plane ticket and a separate room for her at the resort. They spent time together, but both understood they were single and still open to mingling. They had a great time with no expectations and guarantees. She continues to get invites to be flewed out.

I asked her some questions and tips when it comes to being flewed out. Here’s our entertaining and informative exchange:

Sara: Should a woman suggest being flewed out? Why or why not?

Marsha: If a man says, “you should come visit me or come here” then it’s appropriate to ask if he’s flying you out. I'm not spending my money to see you. I'm not on tour. You want to see me, so you need to spend your money. If you don't spend your money, I'm not coming to see you.

Sara: So if a man says, “you should come to my city,” your next question to him should be: “Are you flying me out?”

Marsha: Yes, because I'm not on tour. I am not Beyonce. I am not Rihanna. He wants to see me, he has to pay for that flight and hotel.

Sara: If a man asks a woman to be flewed out, what info should she give him?

Marsha: The man would need your first and last name, email address, date of birth, and phone number. Once the tickets in your name it cannot be canceled.
Once you get on the plane, you can't get a refund on the returning flight- the flight is already booked, they cannot cancel the flight, it's already in your name.

Sara: Does she allow a man to book everything such as room and flight?

Marsha: That’s a conversation between her and the guy. But if a guy fly me out, I'm expecting him to book the room in a nice hotel or I will stay home. I'm not spending my money.

Sara: Should a woman ask for separate rooms?

Marsha: It depends on the woman. It also depends on what her relationship with the man is. If she doesn't really know him like that, and she feels more comfortable getting a separate room, then she should request it. I'm grown; I'm not having somebody fly me out that I'm not attracted to because I understand there’s the possibility that we are going to do grown things.

Sara: How should she request a separate room?

Marsha: Be very direct. Say, “ I'd like to stay in a separate room.”

Sara: So is romance and intimacy owed to a man if he fly a woman out?

Marsha: I don't think that it's owed, but don't be naive either. Majority of the time, yes, if a guy flies you out, he's expecting sex. And if you're not comfortable with that, then don't go. Or communicate directly and effectively. Those details need to be ironed out before get on the plane. Do not make an assumption.

Sara: What are some etiquette or safety rules for visiting a man in another town?

Marsha: Make sure you have your own money. You need to make sure you have money to get your own room in case you need it, in case the vibe isn’t right. I would never fly out to go see somebody with no money. That, to me, is ridiculous. I feel like you're setting yourself up for failure. Have your location on, tell your friends who you are with and the name of the hotel. Communicate with him about your expectations and desires.

Sara: If the chemistry and compatibility is not there once she’s flewed out, what should a woman do?

Marsha: Try to play it out, maybe try to see how it goes. And if you don't feel comfortable, then make your arrangements to leave because it doesn't make sense in dragging it. It doesn't make sense in dragging the situation with somebody you don't like.

Sara: Do you think a woman owes him money if that happens?

Marsha: No. He can take it as a learning lesson to not fly women out he barely know. Or you win some, you lose some.

Sara: Lastly, what advice would you give women who's thinking about agreeing to being flewed out?

Marsha: Don't fly out with nobody you don't like. Don't do it. Some women use these guys but do not do that because these guys are crazy. If you don't like this person, do not agree to be flewed out. You're wasting that person's time, especially if this person may really like you and you don't really like them like that. Don't even waste your time.

Marsha was very candid on the rules for being flewed out. Remember, safety and comfortability is first. Then fun! Do you have a great flewed out story to tell? Or some tips to add? Comment below.