Summer Fun & Black Reads
11 books. I've read 11 books in 3 months while enjoying some summer fun. Reading on the beach or near a pool has become one of my favorite hobbies this summer. Some Non-fiction and some fiction. Reading 11 novels led me to transparency, vulnerability and my imagination. My imagination awoken. As an adult, sometimes, I forget to dream more. Dream constantly and visualize life beyond my own reality.
As a writer, doubts come with every word I pen. But reading allows me to learn through someone else's pen. Here are some of my favorite summer reads:
1. Black Girls Must Die Exhausted by Jayne Allen
The title. Sounds heavy but it's a must read for every woman and man of color. It's a fictional story about a 33-year old black woman named Tabitha exploring her career as a journalist, an infertility diagnosis, friendship shifts and an uncommitted relationship.
The part of the book that resonated with me is when Tabitha decides to finally have dinner with her father and extended family. She has a private conversation with her father and asks him about why he could stay with his new wife and not her mom.
His response:
"I'm not happier in my relationship with Diane because I'm with someone other than your mom. I'm happier because I'm someone other than who I was with your mom."
This is a simplistic but loaded statement. He had changed and did some healing work so he could be the man and husband he needed to be. It wasn't based who the woman was. It was who he had become. This is the conversation Tabitha needed to have to gain clarity about her father and her own relationship.
It resonated with me because I recently had a conversation with my father that I didn't know I needed to have regarding his relationship with my stepmother and an illegitimate child. This conversation gave me clarity and understanding about my father. That being with someone for 20+ years could mean break ups and separations. Just like Tabitha, I realize change & healing is individual work and cannot be rushed no matter how much we desire it to. It also gave me clarity, freedom and new perspective on forgiveness and love.
Overall, this novel is needed for black womanhood and understanding why its important to change the narrative that black girls must die exhausted.
2. The Fire Next Time by James Baldwin
Black writers must read James Baldwin and study his eloquent style of writing. Any "woke" person of color should read at least one of James Baldwin's novels to educate ourselves about the history of racial inequality. The Fire Next Time is a nonfictional book that encloses two essays that James Baldwin wrote during the height of the civil rights movement. The first essay is a letter to his 14-year old nephew in which he discusses race in American history. In the second essay, he discusses the role of christianity and race.
My favorite quote:
"You were not expected to aspire to excellence: you were expected to make peace with mediocrity."
In this letter to his nephew, James Baldwin tells his nephew that because he's black, America only expect him to be mediocre. Mediocre is defined as moderate or low quality. Black people have always been looked at as inferior to white people in America and only expected to be okay with mediocrity.
This quote resonated with because I struggle with overcompensating in greatness in order not to be mediocre. This quote made me realize that it was conditioned for me only to be mediocre. I should be great for myself and not so I can change America's perception of me as a black woman. That's America's job not mine.
Overall, this book lit a fire inside me to create open dialogue about what it means now to be a black woman in America.
3. My Home is a Noiseless Gun by Kondwani Fidel
I enjoy reading novels from new and local authors. Kondwani Fidel is an author and poet from Baltimore who has written "Hummingbirds in the Trenches" and "Raw Wounds." His current novel, My Home is a Noiseless Gun is a collection of essays that he wrote in his graduate studies at University of Baltimore. The collection of essays encompasses his life growing up in East Baltimore. He describes his childhood with his grandmother, his experience selling drugs and his love for Baltimore culture.
My favorite quote:
"My home is a kiss. And sometimes when it puckers its lips, it electrifies. My home is warm, but when the temperature rises and the heat slithers from around the corner, we scatter. We run into it. We're from Baltimore so we two-step in the fire. And boy oh boy, those flames cause us to look worn out like burnt scriptures; while we are still wet behind the ears. It's like we go from age ten to twenty-one in three to five business days."
I thought this was beautiful poetry to describe Baltimore. This quote resonated with me because this is how I feel about my hometown. I love kissing my city and I love two-stepping into the fire of Baltimore; the rawness of Baltimore. But, I also realize those same fires is the cause of many disruptions and burn-outs within the communities of Baltimore. Those same fires result in adultification of black and brown children (read my Baltimore Sun description of adultification here: Baltimore Sun) and why I have a love-hate relationship with my city.
This book is no longer available for purchase but you can purchase his other collections here: Kondwani Fidel.